Hello...

Hello...

I feel so alone, it seems I am just falling into a deep dark endless abyss. I just wanna kill myself. Right here right now. So much is happening at the moment, and I wish I could just crawl up into a ball and die...

I've lost a lot, and I wish I could just lose myself...

This is Alexis, signing off x

Bacon Pancakes?

Bacon Pancakes?

Okay this is getting out of hand, I have now got the song Bacon Pancakes stuck in my head and it won't leave me alone...

I mean out of all things from adventure time does bacon pancakes have to get stuck in my head... I can't even eat the flip in things.

This is Alexis, signing off x

Bracelets

My handmade bracelets

These are the bracelets that I've been making today, I'm actually quite proud of them. I think I might make some for my friends.

They take my mind off everything else in the world, so I suppose its good that I'm making them.

Do you like them, comment below.

Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight...

This is Alexis, signing off x

Friends

Thoughts on having friends who are a different sex...

Me and my friend Tabby were having rant yesterday about having friends who are of a different gender. You see we don't have many friends as most of the girls in our school are to busy caring about there looks, than what's going on around them.

You see me and Tabby arent like that, so we are social out casts. However we only get along with one girl and well more boys. Most of the boys we hang round with think we are awesome, as we act like them. In our school we have the popular people and then there is the cool kids then there is us, the social outcasts. 

See most of the people in our year keep saying that we are going out with them. Well I wish they would get into the flip in stupid brains that we are not going out, we are good friends. I have repeatedly said to them that we are just friends, so shut up, but they dont ever seem to listen.

Anybody got any advice to get these dumb idiots to leave us be please leave them in the comments.

This is Alexis, signing off x

Self Harm...

My thoughts on Self Harm...

I don't really like self harm but I still do it... I feel it doesn't really give me the satisfaction as much as other stuff. I still do it, I still scratch and cut my arm...

Has anybody got any coping mechanisms for stopping myself from doing this, comment below.

This is Alexis signing off x

December Favourites

December Favourites

As all I have been posting is just me complaining about how messed up my life is, I have decided to do this. Its something different but it gets my mind off everything else.

1. First is a lush product called woosh shower jelly and it is amazing! It has a very citrus scent in it, but it also has the soothing feel of seeweed. This stuff I find calms me down when I'm stressed out, you know like most people have bath's I have a shower with this it seriously helps. Also its made of organic ingrediants , so it is really good for your skin.

2. Another lush product that I love is Hot Toddy, which is a shower gel. This is one of there Christmas products, but it smells amazing. It smells of cinnamon and spices, its a beautiful red colour and has a small amount of glitter in it. I find that this really helps me unwind.

3. Charlie Red perfume by Revlon, this was a Christmas present that I fell in love with. It just smells amazing its fruity and delicious. I only wear it on special occasions as it is very special.

4. The fault in our stars movie. This film is just OMG, I fell in love with the book and fell in love with the film. It made me cry so much but it is just such a soothing story. It makes me happy reading or watching it. It has practically saved me many a times.

5. Last one. Minecraft. It is just amazing, it takes my mind off of so many things. I love it. Its just so simple and normal, but is just so soothing to play. I love it!!

This is Alexis signing off x

 

I cant sleep...

I cant sleep...

So the demons in my head have decided that I am no longer aloud to sleep. I hate having so much wrong with me, I just worry and worry. Most of the time its just I wonder when I'm going to die or what do bacon pancakes taste like (lets just say I'm also lactose intolerant.) 

Seriously though I literally haven't slept in like 3 days, what the hell is anorexia doing to me, I know I'm dying and all that, but come on at least let me flipin sleep.

Why can't I just like poison myself, with I don't know milk or something, I'm not wanted anywhere. I so just want to die, just right here right now in this chair. Or maybe I could just die in my sleep, but no I'm not aloud to frickin sleep am I!!!!

Anyway if anybody has any advice on how I can get my brain to shut up so I can sleep comment below 

This is Alexis signing off x

This is so frickin true!

Suffering with suicidal thoughts...

Suffering with suicidal thoughts...

I get these a lot, sometimes I just want to through myself out of a window. I get told to stop, how can I stop. My life will be like this, it will always be like this. I also suffer from anxiety, depression and anorexia, these really don't help. At all...

If anybody has got any coping mechanism's for these please feel free to comment them.

This is Alexis signing off x

Describes my life.

Welcome!

Welcome!

25th December 2014

Hello and welcome to my Blog, Lush life, this is a Blog where I will post articles about my life. This will include good times, bad times, depression, eating disordors and my favourite things!

My name is Alexis and I'm from England. At this moment I'm a 12 year old. I currently suffer from Anorexia, Anxiety, Depression and being very suicidal. My life so far has not been very good. Which is probably why I am like how I am.

I love my friends, especially my best friends Sophie and Tabby. They has helped me through a lot and I love them for it. They are amazing people who are loving, caring and very beautiful.

I will be posting about my favourite things which currently include lush, music, the fault in our stars and history. I hope you enjoy my blog.

This is Alexis, signing out, x

Oh and Merry Christmas x