Well I'm still here

Guess what, I'm still alive!

Yay!

Its not like anybody cares!

I just want to kill myself!

Shit has happened!
I don't wanna be here anymore.

I've just lost a really close friend today, over a stupid thing I did. She won't take my apology. She says she wants to be friends still but if I don't sort myself out, it won't happen.

Well guess what!! I can't fucking help it can I!! I am who I fucking am!! I she don't like that she can fuck off!!

I wish that I could say that too her, but she means so much to me. I love her, and she did once.

I wish I could turn back time, back to lunch, back to before I did that stupid thing, back to my fucking hell hole.

I don't even know why I'm still here. I don't know why I even bother.

If this is the last post you know what has happened.

For my school friends who will see this, if I'm not here tommorow you know why.

This is Alexis, signing off x

Screw This...

I'm upset,

I'm hurt

The girl that couldn't be broken

BROKE

My life is falling apart,

And so am i.

Literally Cried all day...

So today was my first day back at school, and I had to say goodbye to the only person who understood my situation, my history teacher miss sharples who left at the end of last term. I really need her at the moment she practically saved my life. I was so close to commuting suicide and she brought me back.

I miss her so much, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and cry. Today was shit. My life is dying around me...

I want Miss sharples, she gave me somewhere to go a much and break, so I didn't have panic attacks when there was loads of people around me. She would let me go into her classroom and let me just flip out if I needed to. She would give me somebody to talk to when I was, well wanting to kill myself. She was the only person who could make me smile, she was the reason I stayed alive, she saved my life.

I wish she would still be here, still around so I could stop this feeling. I so wanna just kill myself right now. Right here right now!!

This is Alexis, signing off x

Shopping with Elle

Shopping with Elle

So today I went shopping with Elle (close friend) today. We had a laugh! I spent most of my money in Lush, what I usually end up doing. Today in lush I brought:

Sea Spray Hair mist

Jackie Oates Colour Supplement

Sweetie Pie Shower jelly

Powdered Sunshine Powdered Sunscreen

Jungle Hair conditioner Solid Conditioner

Brazilian shampoo bar Solid Shampoo

Most of these I brought on whim, I've never brought most of these. Some were recommended, but my favourite buy was probably Sweetie pie.

I also brought a chocker from clairs, I really like it. I'll include a picture below.

This is Alexis, signing off x

All of my lush products so far, well with two missing... 

Chocker 🔝

Sorry I've been busy...

I'm so sorry that i haven't been posting,but I've had a lot going on. Like new years and all that crap. Anyway 2015 will probably be the same crap as 2014. Basicallya load of the same shit will happen this year..

This is Alexis, signing off x

Hello...

Hello...

I feel so alone, it seems I am just falling into a deep dark endless abyss. I just wanna kill myself. Right here right now. So much is happening at the moment, and I wish I could just crawl up into a ball and die...

I've lost a lot, and I wish I could just lose myself...

This is Alexis, signing off x